


Kyber Song

by VeeBeeBoo



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Dominant Kylo Ren, Eventual Smut, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force-Sensitive Reader, Frottage, Kyber Crystals (Star Wars), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Second Person, Princess reader, Romance, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Soul Bond, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-12 13:48:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28886361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VeeBeeBoo/pseuds/VeeBeeBoo
Summary: Hooks in your skin, plasma in your spine- every nerve is struck alight when Commander Kylo Ren comes to your isolated planet seeking something called Kyber crystals. Instead he finds something better- you.(Reader is a princess of Elysia, half-human, quiet and submissive. NO USE OF Y/N)
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/You
Comments: 11
Kudos: 63





	1. Welcome to Elysia

You had always been told you had an enchanting singing voice, a blessing from your mother. This was comical to both you and to her, for these people who paid you such praise thought you to be gifted, when the truth was that you were your mother's child. To those who did not know better, and this was many, you were a dutiful heir to your planet's throne- filling your time with singing, instruments and even learning to ride and hunt. 

To those that did know better, which were few and far between you were the half blooded child of your mother- an Iliad of the planet Elysia. The Iliad were humanoid, strikingly beautiful things with voices like instruments and a culture which prided itself on its peaceful tactics and remaining outside of conflict. The Iliad only differed from humans from their odd colored hair and the pastel or vibrant colored markings on their cheekbones and foreheads. Your mother's had been a lavender color, organically shaped like tea leaves decorated by tiny dots wrapping over her eyebrows. Her hair was white, and had always been white. It was a sign of age in humans you learned but not in Iliad which lived a few decades longer than the average human.

Passing off as human was easy in the newly revolutionized Elysia. Your father, the king by birthright, and his father- a king through conquest and colonization- had both been human and all of their father's before them the same. Elysia had not been ruled by one of its natives for some time now, and your father had thought it prudent to marry into the Iliad line to create an alliance of blood- you.

A shocking thing you were too. Many thought coupling humans and Iliad impossible despite their similarities, but no- you had been born but ten months after the wedding- an heir to a throne. You were quiet to a fault most of the time, trained to stay out of the way but remain still and voiceless at your father's side while he conducted business. Most stewards and diplomats that come upon you believe you to be mute and only communicate through the rapturous songs your father would ask you to give to them.

You sang more now in this past week, as it had been but seven solar cycles since your mother had died. It was an illness known only to affect her species, and to protect you the both of you had been prevented from nearing each other. The last time you had seen your mother she had kissed you goodnight on the faint markings on your cheek- the touch eliciting a slight glow. You had expected to see her in the morning for breakfast; the two of you had planned to go to the market for silks and lace that day....

And then you just never saw her again. She had been buried in the crypt below the throne, and your father mourned quietly. You knew your father to love your mother- in his own way. The same way you knew he loved you. From the stories and books you read it was not a love you would envy, but perhaps it was all your father could muster. Perhaps his love was so quiet it was unable to be heard.

Now, you were all that your father had left. He had told you so as he also informed you of your new place. You were to don the garb of an heir now. Finer dressing and silks, and jewelry. With your mother gone, your responsibilities only grew to fill her place.

You had not known what to expect by these new responsibilities, but when your father had told your servants to dress you in your finest garb and veil you in the headdress only your mother had worn you were not surprised. The dress was heavy and painfully ornate but traditional and beautiful. The headdress was shimmering platinum encrusted with opalescent crystals that jutted out and curled like horns from the side of your head, dangling more intricately carved crystals that tinked together as you moved. It also held up the sheer lavender veil that hid most of your face, but still allowed you to see.

You were led by guards and even a few soldiers to the main hall, and sat upon your indigo cushion which was embroidered with silver and hemmed with more but smaller crystals. You sat to the right but at the foot of your father, who sat up in a stone throne which was braided with a millenia old tree blossomed with different foliage each season. Now, in the heat of the summer season, bright green leaves sprouted from its branches and the seat was made of soft moss. The living throne is what your mother had called it, and even joked that sometimes if the throne was displeased by the state of the planet it would reject the sitting monarch.

This new responsibility of a higher decorated prize was an expected one, and so your guard was down today. You would likely sit here on your cushion on the floor and be fanned by servants even though it wasn't hot. Some boring foreing dignitary would come in seeking some military or resource that would be denied because Elysia does not offer aid or support for any foreign body as 'we remain passive'.

So, when stormtroopers entered the hall, followed by three men in black garb with cold gazes and one with a mask like that a spirit of death might wear, you were frozen in fear. You looked to quickly up at your father, making your head dress chime with the movement. You looked back at the approaching hoard and their display and reached your hand out to grasp onto the cloth of your father's pant leg. You were grown, an adult but never had you felt such childlike fear that you reached out to your father and ached at not being able to run to your mother.

Your father rose from his seat and greeted the First Order envoy with more poise and calm than you anticipated. 

"Welcome to my home, I truly appreciate the prompt response to my invitation." Your father said with a gleaming smile, "I hope the journey was not too much."

A good distance away servants silently hurried about, placing a table and three chairs near it. The table was quickly decorated with platters of sweets and delights and even a large pitcher of drink. 

You felt your blood like sludge in your veins, disbelief and betrayal threatening to set your whole body alight. You couldn't speak- never allowed to speak during these meetings. You were there to show your father's power and to learn, but now all you learned is that any love your father had for your mother must have died with her.

Your mother despised the First Order. This new regime was just a shadow of what had been. She had lived through the Empire and their ways- she saw the writing in the stars and the First Order for what it was but worse. It forced people to be the very worst of themselves, the New Republic forcing to show an ugly side of itself to try and squash this new First Order.

"I am King Herron of Elysia, and I welcome you to my home. It is my deepest honor to be the first king of this planet to propose any alliance with a foreign power." Your father boasted as if it would impress these troopers and officials.

The red headed one, the one who seemed to be in charge of the other two or at the very least the mouthpiece for them stepped forward. "We were eager to see if your word was true, King Herron. Allow me to introduce myself and my colleagues. I am General Hux of the First Order."

You watched, glad for your veil to hide your terror as General Hux motioned to the man on his right, another man dressed in the same garb but less...fancy. "This is Lieutenant Trein, he will be overseeing these talks in my place, and Commander Ren'' he motioned to his left.

Trein looked bored, with dark blond hair that was slightly greying in patches around his hairline. He gave the king a nod and a respectful bow. He did not seem malevolent, neither Hux nor Trein did really- at the very least that is what you felt when you assessed them.

The man motioned to as Commander Ren was an entirely different story. He was the mask-wearer, dressed in dark robes and the very air around him trembled and curled. You could not see a single part of his skin, completely hidden away and yet you felt his gaze as if it were a white-hot brand as it dragged from your father down to you. His mask did not move and you tried to convince yourself that you were imagining things there was no possible way you could tell he was looking at you and yet- you all but writhed under its pressure. Like the feeling of a hand grasping the base of your skull and squeezing. 

"Welcome General Hux," Your father said with a bow, " Lieutenant Trein, and Commander Ren. I hope to see great things come from our arrangement."

The three First Order men sat in the chairs that were given to them, and though you tried to watch Hux as he was the one speaking, your eyes kept drifting over to the masked man. Ren.

"We will have to see proof of the resource you claim you can provide." Hux's voice was stern and stated like a demand. You wondered how tired he must be when night came, if it took him time to unwind the knots in his face from his vicious scowl.

"Of course," Your father assured, taking his seat as well. "As I expect a show of goodwill from your organization as well. This is my planet's most guarded treasure after all."

Treasure? What treasure? You turned your head slowly to not arouse suspicion or gaze up to your father, slow and practiced enough the crystals did not even make a sound.

He did not look back down at you, but did reach his hand down to pet your head. It was not a comforting gesture, if that is what it was meant to be. You searched his face for answers, wondering what he could be offering up. What was he willing to give away? What did he want from them?

You had never fully agreed with your planet's isolation from the rest of the system, and how never involving in conflicts had made so in the Iliad's time of need they were left to their own, and now faced extinction. Your mind raced with idle chatter passed between the two parties. Your planet was one of only two orbiting your star with any life on it, so by location standard you did not face many threats. As far as you knew, Elysia had never been even contacted by either the First Order or the Republic to join a side- as most knew they would be rejected.

Could he mean the refugees? There were thousands that came here seeking solace from the endless chaos between the two 'superpowers' of the galaxy, hiding from the First Order, evading the Republic. Both were given a home here, so long as they provided. The refugees only increased in volume every week- surely Herron could not be willing to sell them out. It had been a passion of our mothers to help those who had lost their homes one on your planet.

Then what? What secret treasure was he willing to share? To give away for unknown reasons? Turning to simply gaze at the floor, hoping this meeting would be done soon- you must have caught someone's attention as your name was whispered next to you.

Looking up you saw the servant who had been fanning you, lean in, whispering under his breath, "Pardon me, your grace, but please relay to King Herron that the envoy has been prepared and is ready."

You nodded and usually did not reply, only would whisper information to your father but stopped the servant from slinking back to where he had been standing before.

"What envoy?" You questioned, "Where are we being taken?"

"Your grace..." The servant seemed hesitant but you interrupted him.

"Father arranged for an envoy to my mother's grave at sundown, and one to my grandfather's for supper. I need to know which envoy you speak of." It was not completely a lie, as you knew this one was neither of those.

"Oh, to the caves, your grace. The envoy to the caves is prepared."

You felt as if someone had struck you in the back of the head with something very cold the way your body jolted. Quickly, you gathered your wits though and dismissed the servant turning to your father to tug on his pant leg for his attention.

In a tiny whisper you spoke to your father- hiding your rage, "The envoy you prepared is ready, lord father. Am I to join you?"

"Would you like to, my dear?" Your father always spoke at full volume, prideful of being the only one who you would speak to at any volume. "Forgive me, General. My beloved daughter informs me our envoy awaits, we may travel to the caves immediately if you wish."

"I would like to come, father." You said insistently, trying to remain silent to all other ears.

The General stood and held his hands behind his back, stance straight and firm, "There is no need for delay then. Let us see this hoard of kyber you claim of."

You glanced up at the general feeling hopelessly confused the thousandth time that day.

Kyber?


	2. The Caves

You were in your own cruiser, at your father's request. He rode in a larger one with the red-head General Hux and still silent but terrifying Commander Ren. It would take you but one hour to arrive to the main entry to your family's birthplace. The Caves that networked beneath the entirety of the planet and were sacred to your people. You started the journey jealous and bitter at being forced away from the rest of the group, and wondering what they were talking about. Your thoughts drifted to gratitude for the isolation as it gave you time like this to think without wearing your veil or your mask of propriety.

You still wondered what they were talking about but something dark inside of you whispered hot words of wonder if your father had heard the Commander speak yet. Did the mask prevent him from doing so? Had he taken it off in the cruiser to be more comfortable? The questions were involuntary and frivolous but you could not stop. Some wild fascination had taken root in your mind about the masked man. You could read the others so easily, even the masked troopers. Hux was calculating and above all self-preserving. He hungered for power like a thirst one cannot quench, and something in you knew this hunger would be his downfall. Prideful he was as well. Proud of his place, his blood, his body. Hux was proud of his station and his organization, but beyond all of that. The hard exterior lie a shriveled stinking seed of fear in his bones. He stood so surely on his two feet but a fear that anything may make him stumble was alive and corrosive inside him.

The other, the Lieutenant, was a man seeking comfort. He enjoyed his position but he enjoyed more the privileges that it awarded him. There was something base and sloth-like in that man’s eyes, they were down turned and a cool gray. Trein seemed to purposefully make himself fade into the background as he did not utter a word the entire time the First Order had sullied your family home. Simply listened with half an ear and nodding when given the command to return to their ship with a number of the white-clad troopers.

While there had been absolutely nothing remarkable in Lieutenant Trein, something curious about General Hux- there was something utterly captivating by the Commander.

He was as wordless as Trein had been, but while you had felt nothing but disinterested stale air in Trein there was something akin to a storm in the Commander. He listened with more than ears and eyes hidden behind his helmet. What was this? This enrapture beyond all sense and sanity? Why did his very visage vex you? Why did his carbon mask trimmed in silver feel like someone had placed fishhooks into your skin to drag you painfully towards him?

When the cruiser halted and a guard helped you out, your head ached. The guard led you by the hand, gently as he was trained to always treat Herron’s heir as if you were made of glass. The cruisers were stopped in a clearing of tall golden-green grass that smelled sweet in the summertime. The scent was familiar and calming despite the situation.

The round clearing was decorated with tall but crumbling pillars, you recalled reading that once there had been a large building here, a place for travelers and pilgrims to stop and rest out of the sun and in the once bountiful fountain in the center. The fountain was now nothing more than a circlet of jagged stone, and the pilgrims long since gone. The caves had once been a place where many people both native and foreign would come to admire the treasure within them- legends of the crystals holding untapped power and mystical abilities used to draw thousands every year.

That had been decades before you though, and even decades before your mother. She had always made it a point however, to bring you here once every so often- if nothing more than to escape your father’s gentle, if possessive, love.

It was the Commander that turned to look at you first. At the very least, you thought he was looking at you. His helmet dipped, as if to look over his shoulder towards you as the guard chaperoned your walk from carriage to father. An unwilling shiver rose from your shoulders before you could stop it. Your father caught sight of you out of the corner of his eye and he paused in his tense-looking conversation with the general.

“Come now, dearest.” Your father beckoned holding out his hand. The guard placed your hand into your father’s as if you were unable to manage moving your own arm. “I was just telling them of the walk to the caves. A modest walk from here, no?”

You opened your mouth to speak but stopped. What were you thinking? Your father didn’t actually want you to respond. He would furious later if you actually said a word...so you mustered up a gentle smile and nodded towards him.

“She is my only child, you see- and very dear to me.” Your father explained as if the First Order carried two credits about how much your father claimed to love you, “It is very likely she knows these caves better than anyone on the planet, isn’t that right?”

Another question posed to be remained unanswered. It was a boastful claim that very well may be true, but held little weight as few people outside of the palace and elders of the Iliad people knew of its existence. And, since only the royal family was permitted entry anymore his proud statement essentially boiled down to- ‘She knows them better than me.’

“How large is the cave we will be seeing?” Hux questioned, not sparing you a second glance.

“Oh, infinitely.” Your father replied with a grin, “They network beneath the entire planet. Why don’t you lead the way for us then, little one? I am sure our guests are eager to see.”

Another shiver, this time of barely muted disdain. You could not wait for this day to be over, and to be hidden away until the First Order was gone.

A nod to your father and you let go of his hand- perhaps to hastily by the sharp look in his eyes when you walked past him. You could not be bothered much by your father’s mood right now. You moved in the familiar direction of the caves, with each step your heart sinking lower. This place had once been a sanctuary for you and your mother, and now.... 

You could still hear her singing, her laughter. You could feel her comforting kisses on your cheekbones and forehead. The feeling of safety after your father would make you sing in front of strangers for their enjoyment and when you would run from them and into your mother’s arms. It was custom in your people- your mother’s people, your mind quickly amended as the human blood in your was loud and you would never truly be one of them. It was a custom of the Iliad people for women to stay close with their mothers- the singing voice prized amongst humans was more than just to lighten a dinner party or impress a foreign dignitary. The musical, enchanting voices of the Iliad were used in battles, communicating over distances, professing love and loss. It was a language all in its own. Mother’s would often teach their daughters the songs, as your mother did with you.

You felt like a traitor. To your mother and to your other Iliad kin. You did not know why your mother had hated the First Order so openly and adamantly, but you didn’t care to know. She never demanded anything of your father save this, and now he was going back on his word and dragging you with him.

Arriving at the caves felt like arriving at some precipice. The entry to the caves was sealed by impossibly large stone doors, intricately carved with lines that could almost be considered musical in the way they danced together with the organic floral reliefs.

A part of you knew to wait for the men behind you but something sharp and coiled in your chest threatened to burst. A sorrow you had been stifling and stinging tears all threatened to spill out of you. You did not wait for permission; these caves were yours as much as they were your father’s. It was effortless now, sliding the stone puzzle into place so that the doors would open inward of their own accord. Cool, crisp air flooded out and you inhaled the musty scent. You heard your father’s laugh and boisterous voice echo inside, and a nasty feral part of you wanted turn around, slam the doors and demand all of them leave now. 

But you didn’t. You never fulfilled impulses like that. Safe and obedient to a fault you supposed as you entered the caves solemnly. Your footsteps made little noise, but you were surprised by the louder ones close behind. A glance to the side and you could just barely see the outline of the Commander in close pursuit behind you and not walking next to the General and the king.

Your eyes adjusted quickly to the dark, quicker than the other’s at least. You stood were you knew was near the center of the first cavern, only having to go down set of stone stairs older than the monarchy itself. You heard the doors closing from the entrance which was now hidden behind the curved walkway to get to this place. Most of the light died as they closed and you waited while your father carried a lantern and mentioned something about weekly shipments to the general.

“Why have you stopped dearest?” Herron asked you with a tense smile. You licked at your lips and moved closer to whisper in his ear. 

“No outsider has ever gone further than this, father. Surely this is enough to show them?” You asked as sweetly as you could while remaining as quiet as possible.

“Ah I suppose so. You are your mother’s child it would seem, such a stickler for tradition.” His voice replied with humor, and one day you hoped to see his humor wiped from his face. One day he would address you as more than a child. “Well, go on then, dearest. Show our guests what they came for.”

One day you would deny him, but longing to see and feel something familiar to your mother you obliged. You stepped away from your father and looked around the black cavern. 

You opened your mouth and vocalized in the special way your mother had shown you, letting it sink into your chest and emotion fill its song. From the moment any noise left you, the room came to life. Crystals in clusters larger than star-ships and more bountiful than any other in the galaxy lit up in a rainbow of iridescent colors. The light and glow from them warmed you and you continued in your wordless song, letting all the grief from the loss of your mother leave you in its melancholy yet enchanting tune.

“My word,” The General said quietly, gazing up at the once in a lifetime sight with an almost relaxed expression. 

Glancing over, you caught sight of the Commander, who examined his glowing surroundings. You wondered if he could feel the crystals hum like you did, or if he was enthralled by their beauty.

“Are they all Kyber?” General Hux questioned with an eagerness looking over to the masked Commander and not to your father.

“I believe so.” Your father replied motioning for you to cease. You reluctantly stopped singing and the luminescence died with it.

“No,” You jumped at this new voice. Modulated and dark as it was you had not expected such.... richness. His voice was decadent but frightening. The Commander looked to the General in the darkness, gazing down at him and his stern looking helmet making it look like he was displeased, “Most are, but not all.”

Your father jerked, “Ah, you will have to forgive me, General, Commander- I have only just been able to study these crystals as they have been kept secret for some time. There is much to still be learned down here.”

While Hux took off with more pointed questions about mining and trading, all of which your father eagerly answered, you walked away. This was your cave and you wanted to go to your favorite place. You doubted your father would miss you at all now that he had convinced his guest to discussions.

It wasn’t far, a tiny little crevice which lead to a neighboring cavern no bigger than a servants bedroom. It was a secret place you had claimed for yourself when you were young and had not been able to return to for some time. Your mother had called it a ‘hideout’, but you never felt like you were hiding here.

When you felt you were well out of sight now in your hidden home, you lifted your veil be behind your head instead of in front of your face. You gazed around your little room and hummed a little tune you had made up many years ago. The crystals in your room swelled with lavender light and remained dimly lit even after you had stopped. It was a comfort to be welcomed back by them ever after all these years. 

You knew crystals had no consciousness. They were rock and sediment simply formed a specific way that someone decided was beautiful, and you found them very beautiful. Strikingly and awe inspiring in their longevity. They were never scratched or crack, not by anything. Even time. They existed outside of time somehow, and yet they felt like old friends as you made your way to the opposite side of the entrance to one particular cluster. 

You reached out and let our hand graze just above the cluster and with your hand a warmth emitted like you were holding your hand next to a small candle. The light from within followed your palm and twinkled as you wiggled your fingers. It was foolish, you knew, to think this light meant anything but it felt like playing. It felt like a greeting and laughter.

Another hand entered your line of vision, bright red light reacting inside of the crystals unlike that you had ever seen. You gasped in surprise and turned seeing the Commander dangerously close but looking down at the crystals and not at you. Struck completely speechless, you could only watch as Commander Ren moved his hand and studied the light as it followed. It looked visceral- the light that followed him. You had never seen such a saturated color come from them before. Always pale or pastel from you or your mother.

“It....its red.” You mumbled out dumbly. His helmet tipped in your direction sharply, and you realized your mistake. You shouldn’t have said anything. You shouldn’t have spoken- oh maker.

“You can speak.” His words stunned you, as if he were taunting you. You took a step back away from the mystery of a man and looked down at the ground. 

You had to stop yourself from instinctively just replying to him again. What the hell was going on with you? You flustered for a moment before biting at your lip and watching him turn back towards his hand, watching the lights as if they were a creature hiding inside the usually colorless crystal.

You moved without thinking- on instinct and obviously against anything self-preserving. The Commander had touched one of the longer crystals, gripping it tightly and jerking as if he meant to break it. The red light sparked and reacted violently to his touch, and you grabbed at his arm with a pitiful desperation.

“Don’t!” You cried, louder than you recall speaking in ages. “Please! Please let go!”

His grip loosened but he did not obey. Unreadable behind his helmet, it turned to you inquisitively. You moved to place your hand on his leather-clad one, hoping to convince him to gently release the crystal. Fear for the life of this inanimate thing was irrational but you couldn’t help yourself. They were all you had now. Without your mother, without your people, the crystals remained. Steadfast in loyalty and love to you. You had to protect them. You had to.

“Please...” You begged softly, looking up at him with eyes sparkling on the edge of tears. “Please they....you cannot break them....”

It seemed ages passed before anything else happened. You glanced between the Commander and the crystal he held, willing him to release it. Begging him silently to spare it. You felt like it would snap at any second and with it...something raw and intangible.

The violent red glow inside of the crystal he was strangling swelled and fractured like lightning. You clenched tightly onto the Commander at the sight, but then felt and saw him release it and the light settle into a soft crimson glow once more.

“As you wish.” The modulated voice of the Commander echoed now in the room and within your mind.

You watched him lower his hand and you let him go. His hand lowered to his side and you quickly hovered your hand out to the shard he had possibly hurt. The lavender glow that replied to your outstretched palm was enough to quiet your heart ever so slightly. You sighed in relief at seeing it whole and unblemished and turned to the Commander with a grateful smile.

“Thank you, my lord.” You replied with a soft nod “I...Please do not tell my father I spoke to you.”

The Commander made a noise that sounded almost like a huff of amusement but you could barely tell through the garbled mess that came out of his helmet. He turned to leave and for some reason you made to follow him, heart clenching dramatically when he replied to you- quieter this time.

“As you wish.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boi we goin!! FULLL PRINCESS BRIDE please and thank YOU!!!!


	3. Your Place

You returned to your father’s side, and as you expected he had not even noticed you missing and thus did not notice you return. In fact he paid you absolutely no mind until they went to leave, taking your hand and giving it a squeeze and smile of approval. As if there was something to celebrate now.

You had a vague idea what they planned to do with the crystals, they called some of them Kyber. You had no idea what that meant but if it meant any source of power then it was worth money. The First Order at the very least had an army at their disposal and whether they intended to use the Kyber for armor, weapons or just decoration it meant that they had to be mined. Uprooted with little thought and shipped away from home to never see it again.

It would seem your brave attempt to protect one point from the Commander had been only prolonging the inevitable. Perhaps that is why he had let go, instead of simply breaking it. You assumed he did to placate you, knowing he would have what he wanted eventually.

You rode alone in your cruiser back to your home, staring at your hands the majority of the ride. There were lots of stories about this that you had read. A young protagonist facing adulthood and all that is lost once it is reached. A saying flickered through your mind, and it made a numb sorrow swallow you whole. ‘One day you will try to return to a home that does not exist.’

I can never go home again. 

It rang like funeral bells in your mind. You had never traveled outside your ancestral home, very little had changed about it and it seemed like all of it would just last forever. But, as fate would have it, it would be you and your father that would break that long, long chain. It would be written under your name in the history tomes that it was you who welcomed the First Order, you who let them into the caves and let them make it their conquest, you who while your mother barely cold in the crypt had gone against her wishes and her heritage to spit upon it and all that she had held dear.

When you made it back to the palace, you welcomed the familiar face of your personal steward- a young Iliad woman named Ashda. Ashda had been assigned to you when you had left your nursery and were given a room of your own. She helped you dress, bathe, study, and even kept you company in your isolated wing of the palace. 

King Herron led the two men away from you without even a glance in your direction. You spared them one, wondering what horrible doom would be sealed with a single handshake for your precious crystal friends. 

“Welcome back, your grace.” Ashda greeted warmly and with a small bow. For Iliad women, a bow was like a curtsy where one’s eyes are lowered but differed in that the head would be tilted to the side and down to offer clear view of the markings on the side of their face. It was an unconscious greeting as the markings on the cheekbone were distinct for each person and so greeting in this way was similar to saying your name.

You replied with a tilt of your head to the side and down a bit, not lowering your body but still showing her your cheekbone and the meager excuse for Iliad markings that were there. Ashda’s markings were a beautiful green, darker than her own skin and resembling small diamonds traveling up into her hairline. Her hair was kept up and back, braided and twisted into a traditional style for the people; it was the color of frosted sage leaves. A very pale dusky green that was soft and completely straight when down.

“Are you weary from your journey?”Ashda asked when you did not reply and simply began to make your way inside the palace.

“It was...more taxing that I had expected.” You said quietly, keeping up the appearance of an almost mute princess that Ashda knew to be false. Ashda was one of the few to ever hear you speak, and one of the only two- now three including the Commander- who had heard you speak at any sort of normal volume.

“That is a shame, my lady. You always loved visiting the caves...” Ashda’s voice was filled with concern and you wanted to soothe it but couldn’t find it in you to try.

“I just want to go to my room now.... I’m sure father will call upon me again later today.” You were both dreading and excited by the idea. There was something undeniably thrilling about the danger the First Order imposed, specifically its Commander. Of course, it would also be pleasant to have no danger in the first place.

“Of course,” Ashda replied and then leaning in whispered, “You want to go to the caves again tonight? Without those others?”

A soft smile broke out on your face and you turned to your friend with a grateful look. “Perhaps, we will see how the weather is.”

  
  


You were right when you had guessed that Herron would summon you again that day, only you hadn’t been expecting so late. You had already readied for bed- and by that you meant gotten into some more comfortable clothes to sneak off to the caverns with Ashda. When a guard arrived with your father’s summons, you audibly sighed and looked to Ashda who wordlessly went back to the closet to pick out more appropriate attire.

It was a casual gown and over coat, shimmering embroidery of birds and berries around the hem. Your headdress is gone, replaced with a more casual tiara sans veil.

A guard was your escort and you forced a yawn to hopefully sell the act that you only wished to go to bed. Ashda would likely wait patiently for you to return and though you had no idea why your father wanted to talk to you, it was likely frivolous and wouldn’t take long.

King Herron await your arrival by busying himself in work. His holo screen that rounded his desk was cluttered and buzzing with alerts and messages. He rose from his desk to greet you and apologized for preventing you from going to sleep.

“It’s fine, father.” You said in the soft-spoken tone your father preferred from you. “What is it you wanted to speak to me about?”

“This First Order,” He replied with purpose, “You and your mother were always so good at first impressions. Tell me honestly, dear- what do you think of them?”

Oh what a question that was. You had been internally struggling with that very question for the better part of the afternoon, and so you replied with the only thing that came to mind. “Mother hated the First Order.”

The King huffed and returned to his desk, “Bah! Your mother and her ways- she hated anything that wasn’t born on this planet.”

“That...that’s not true.” You tried to argue but knew it was fruitless.

“It’s truer than you think,” Herron fell into his desk chair and sighed, “They are harsh negotiators there is that much.”

“Father,” You said feeling brash, “Why are they here...? Are they really going to mine the caverns? They- they can’t.” 

A more exasperated sigh left your father and he all but rolled his eyes, “They are just crystals, dear. They hold value and we need protection of the First Order. They won’t take it all!”

Your control snapped and rage engulfed you, “Protection!? From what? Everyone in the galaxy knows it is protection from them that people need! Are we buying mercy with the greatest treasure of our people? And you say they won’t take it all- you are such a fool. They will steal from us until we have nothing valuable left and then they will revoke this mercy you bou-”

You had expected your father to be angry with your outburst but the hard smack across your face was a surprise. The force behind it sent you whirling to the ground, stunned onto your backside and looking up at him with wide frightened eyes. He had meant to do more than silence you. This was to remind you of your place- at his feet.

“You forget to whom you speak, daughter.” He spat down at you, “I am your king. Those caves and those crystals are mine, and it is my decision what to do with them. They are valuable, our planet is valuable- I am not buying mercy I am joining a cause.”

It all became clear then. The First Order preached human-supremacy, it was something your mother had mentioned in her rants about them. So this was not just about an alliance for money or power- your father wanted to be a part of that hate. He hated you, he hated your mother and he wanted to sell off the heritage you held so dear to spite you.

Herron deflated, his rage leaving him in a single breath and suddenly he looked remorseful. “Oh...oh no I did not mean- You cannot think I do not love you, my dearest. I just... I am just doing what I can to keep our family, and our planet safe and thriving. This arrangement will ensure our future. Just think, opening our doors to so many new and interesting people. We will be remembered as more than a planet that refused to intervene!”

You stood lowering your hands from where they had cupped your cheek. The side of your face that he had hit was already throbbing and you could feel heat coming from the markings on your cheekbone- they were likely emitting a small glow in reaction to the assault.

“Why did you call me?” You asked again, ready to storm out and never look back. Herron seemed dissatisfied by your rejection of his non-apology.

“I need you to attend the meetings. It will be odd if you do not, but I wanted to ensure you did not interfere. I know you care for the caves and I will make sure they reserve a portion for you, but I require your cooperation, my child.” His voice was stern, demanding but pretending to be pleading.

“I will remain your silent companion as always, my lord father.” You replied coldly, “It is not me you have to fear interference. The Iliad may be scarce but they will riot when they hear of what you are doing.”

Herron scoffed and raised his hands in a shrug, “Whatever you say, my child. Now go off to bed, we have a scheduled discussion over breakfast first thing in the morning.”

You lowered your head in a stiff bow, keeping your face directed at him and not tilting to the side. He would never know the disrespect this meant, but it felt like something to you. As quick as you could without raising suspicion you fled your father’s study.

The minute the door closed behind you, you felt your bravery leave you like the supports of a bridge collapsing. Your father.... had struck you. Hard. You had received punishments like that before but never so fiercely. You wish you could say it was unusual as you knew it wasn’t normal, but... perhaps this was just the way life was.

Better to stay silent, you concluded as you pressed a hand to the cheek that now exuded heat and began to ring with tiny pinpricks of pain. Your guard escort mumbled something about escorting back to your room but you stopped him.

“Return and tell Ashda I wish to walk in the garden. Tell her she is dismissed and go to bed. The same to you, sir.” You said reverting back to whisper-tones.

“I should escort-” The guard began to argue.

“You will obey my order, and leave me be.” You hissed, turning away from him and walking in the opposite direction.

There was no plan, no objective, just away. You could not go back to your room right now. You couldn’t bear to face Ashda and her concern. How could you tell her that you were fine when you obviously were not? She would smell the lies on you like a hound scents a rabbit. And what would you say then? Oh it is truly nothing, my friend, my father strikes me whenever I dare to voice my opinion? 

This was sick. Vile is what it was. And suddenly you realized you were rushing off, making your way to the side exit of the palace and calling upon a droid. You commanded a quick cruiser and discretion, which the robot obeyed and brought you your requested cruiser. It whirled and beeped in question at where your guards were and you snapped at it to shut up and go.

You should have known this is where your feet would lead you. It was an hour drive to the caves, and yet your heart refused to calm even with the cool night air and the sweet scented grass on your approach.

Still, a plan remained out of your grasp but something was all but dragging you to the caves. To the crystals. Perhaps you would rest there a while, if only to feel some sense of solace again.

You jumped from your cruiser and made haste to the cavern- freezing in place when you saw the stone doors already open. The pale light from the three moons orbiting your world made it clear this was no trick and tears were collecting in your eyes before you could stop them.

They had already started- already? Already they were breaking and digging at their stolen prizes they did not deserve! You ran into the caves ready to halt whatever work had begun and stop any more damage.

However, when you entered the cavern it was empty and quiet, save for the soft echoes of your panting and footsteps.

No one was here.

Then why were the doors open? How were they open?

A dim light caught your attention and you saw a lone lantern on the ground just outside the narrow entrance to your hideout. The curiosity was too much and you followed it, entering your hideout and for some reason not all that surprised to see the dark clad Commander standing in the center.

What did surprise you was the fact that he did not turn when you entered, even though you had made no attempt to hide your presence. 

He was holding something in his right hand, looking like the hilt of a sword with a strange lopsided cross-guard. You could not make out the detail in the dim light and for a moment you were tempted to sing the crystals awake just to see him better,

A crack and shattering sound exploded in the small cavern, making you cry out in fear with the sudden burst of light and sound. The entire room became too bright to see for a moment- as bright as the day with red light crackling in the crystals on the ceiling and the walls. It danced within them, mirroring the now ignited blade the Commander held in his right hand. It was red too, blood red and visceral and it pulsated and writhed. It felt like its casing could barely contain it and the absolutely most beautiful and dangerous thing you had ever seen.

The Commander was looking up at the ceiling, watching the light react to his sword and seeming to pay you no mind. You took his silence as some kind of approval, if he wanted you gone he would have told you to leave already- right?

So, you took small steps towards him glancing between his back and his sword in awe. “What....what is that?” You asked softly, not bothering to whisper but simply amazed by this magical thing that he held so tightly.

He did not answer and you suddenly regretted speaking. There was anger around him, sparking like the sparks from his sword and shooting at you as if they were physical projectiles. It made the hair on your neck stand up and you took a tiny step back- the only movement you could make before he moved quicker.

His gloved hand grabbed at your jaw and pushed you back, back back until your shoulders collided with a sharp cluster of short points. The light pulsed outward from your collision and you gasped and cried out at the sudden assault. You reached up to grasp at his hand, tight but not pulling- praying he did not lower to strangle you.

“I-I am sorry! I’m sorry my lord please!” You pleaded pitifully, “Please forgive me I didn’t-”

“Shut up.” His modulated voice was a growl and you clamped your mouth shut so quickly you felt your teeth clack together. His violent sword was raised, illuminating the space between you with its vicious bloody glow.

You wanted to speak, to beg for him to let you go- but you didn’t. Why were you always punished for opening your mouth? Why would the Maker grant you a voice if you were to be hurt every time you used it?

“How-” Ren bit out viciously, raising the blade higher and closer to your face until you could feel its heat. “How are you doing it?”

You had to tear your eyes away from his weapon and to the emotionless chasm of his helmet. Frantic thoughts whirled in your prey mind- Why did he wear the mask? What did he look like under there? Was he snarling in rage? Were his teeth sharp? Was he human? What did he just ask you?

“I...” You began but choked on the word when his hand lowered to your neck, applying enough pressure to hold you but not to halt your breathing. But makerdid it. The cool leather of the glove against skin that had never felt any touch besides that of cold collars and jewelry. It felt like the grip he held, however terrifying it was, was a direct line of plasma dripping down your spine. You felt like melting, like turning your head to show him more, more....more. 

“Stop it!” He roared and you squeaked and tried to push yourself harder into the wall behind you. The points of crystal dug into your back, a sting but enough to keep you grounded.

“I don’t know! I don’t know what you mean!” You sobbed, tears now leaking down your cheek. You felt their cold wake as they dragged down your cheekbone and to your neck. That feral part of you hummed that you were getting his gloves wet, and for some reason that thought was enough to make you shiver.

“Who trained you? Who taught you?!” The Commander’s voice was so guttural you thought he might choke himself more than he was choking you. 

You were still helplessly confused, and it seemed anything you said was wrong so you waited. Taking measured breaths and not daring to look at the weapon so close to you. You searched his mask for anything but knowing you would find nothing.

It was quiet a few moments before his weapon silenced and dissipated back into its hilt, and without letting go of you it was snapped back onto his belt. Anticipation was palpable on your tongue as you waited with bated breath for what he might do next.

“I will take it from you then.” There was less rage, and more measured calculation in his voice, but the threat was sharp and struck you in your gut. Clenching and white hot these words settled near your navel and rested there, writhing. 

His free hand raised and moved to hover close to your face. Assuming he was going to touch you made you squirm and mumble out a pitiful, “Commander...” 

“Hush,” He was even quieter now, his left hand clenching and unclenching around your throat, “I will know.”

You waited....wondering what he meant but thrumming with the promise. Never had you felt this way before. You had never felt such a burn inside your skin, nor beneath it. A warmth kindling between your hips and at the apex of your thighs that made you want to squirm. The feeling of the heat and power that radiated off his body was bad enough, but feeling every finger as it pressed into your neck was mind-numbing. What was this? What was wrong with you?

There was pressure behind your eyes, low and growing. It vibrated and hummed swelling until it felt like pain and became so much you clenched your eyes shut in hopes it would cease. A whimper escaped your mouth as flashes of memory burst behind your eyelids. The smell of the sweet grass. The light of the crystals. Your mother’s frail body as she was buried in the crypt.

The smell of perfume made you pause, and you grabbed onto that memory tightly. Your mother did not wear perfume, what was this smell. It smelled of....of some strange flower and something else sweet. It was achingly familiar and yet you know you had never smelled it before. 

It was ripped away from you as soon as it had come, and more images from your own life flickered faster and faster like flipping through a book one could not be bothered to actually read. 

As slowly as this attack had come one, it halted abruptly and you gasped at the release of the pressure in your head. You opened your eyes, seeing the room illuminated with the familiar lavender instead of red and only minutely comforted by that fact.

Commander Ren seemed displeased, but how you knew this you had no idea. His hand which had been hovering close to your face lowered slightly away but did not drop.

“Commander....” You whispered, before you could stop yourself. 

“You are gifted, little thing.” He said without a taunt but more as an observation. The little name he gifted to you made the vile snake in your gut clenched tighter and your hips shifted up and out- seeking something. The hand on your neck tightened, actually becoming worrisome but the heat in your belly only intensified. You were wet between your legs and while a part of you was confused and terrified- there was that feral part of you again. Something dark and seductive in your own mind hushing the sane portion away. It feels so good.....but not enough.....it’s not enough....

“What would your father think....hm?” Ren purred in your ear, right hand moving to your hip and gripping tightly enough to hurt and sliding up, up to your ribs and just beneath your breast. “His silent little pet....begging for me like this? It will not save the crystals, little thing. I will take all that I want.”

“Please,” You begged on a breathy exhale.

He moved fluid and silent, pressing himself from chest to hips against you. A horribly unbecoming sound left your lips, an involuntary whine that echoed and was followed by more as he grabbed at you, moving you to grind achingly slow against him.

Your hands went to his chest, feeling the fabric of his armor and mindlessly dragging them down. Your mouth remain open, exhaling breathless sounds into the darkness as the Commander seemed to delight in making you sing like this.

And it must have been some kind of singing. As the crystals around you pulsed and hummed with light a mystical amaranthine. You had never seen this before- this sort of dark wine in the crystals,

“What do you want?” The rumble of his voice moved through and he punctuated his question with another deep movement of his body against yours. The hand of your neck left and moved down to hold your side. He was practically holding you now, feet barely touching the floor as you were moved by his insistent hands and motivated by his sinful voice. 

“I...I don’t know....” You blubbered out lamely, unsure what it was that you wanted or was seeking in this dance you two were performing. It felt like a chase, a horrible chase where something completely intangible was just out of your reach. You throbbed now, feeling your heartbeat between your legs and panting like you had been running on a hunt. 

The cold surface of his mask pressed against the side of your face and you shivered in delight. His voice was low now, grumbling and almost breathless, “I can make them leave. I’ll send them all away. Is that what you want?”

Send who away? What? Your mind tried to grasp his words but failed for several moments as you continued to become more and more inebriated by him. It occurred to you after his right hand grabbed behind your knee to lift it up and pull you tighter against him that he meant the First Order. He could send them away to never return. Is that what you wanted? It was. It still was but you didn’t want this to stop- you didn’t want him to leave.

“I....I cannot really think right now....c-commander.”

The laugh was not what you thought it would be- as some part of you could never imagine you laughing. It was rich like a dark cocoa and thick like syrup dripping over your skin and burning you. You both slowed in your frantic gyrations, less a race and more a slow dance again. Each of you moving in time with the other, enjoying the rhythm.

“You should return home, little thing.” He rumbled out, “Unless you wish to start a war?”

Your senses slowly returning to semi-normal, you blinked in surprise. “A war?”

“You are not included in the agreement.” Ren taunted, pulling at your leg so it was wrapped around him, “Not yet, at least.”

“My father....”

“Will sell anything for power.” Ren finished for you. “He will sell you alongside your precious crystals. I could make him.”

You did not move to detach yourselves from each other, which for some reason felt odd but comfortable at the same time. You narrowed your eyes at his mask, feeling like you were given a lesser-hand as he could see your face, read your mind and you could do neither of those. “Perhaps I should return home, my lord. It is late and I was not even supposed to be out here.”

“Is that what you want?”

Again with that damn question! What did it matter what you wanted?! You were supposed to be where you were supposed to be. It mattered very little if you wanted to spend the rest of the evening tying knots around the Commander you had just met. It didn’t matter that you wanted to push your father into the furthest corner of the cavern that you knew of and leave him there- let him face the wrath of the crystals he was so eager to throw away. It didn’t matter that you wanted to see your mother, or the stars or something that wasn’t the inside of a palace! It did not matter.

Glancing away from him, avoiding his eyes you could not see. You suddenly caught sight of the cylinder of metal around his waist.

“I...what is that?” You asked, moving to point at it, “I have never seen something like that before. A sword that disappears.”

His helmet tilted down and slowly- reluctantly- he lowered your leg to the floor and let you stand on your own feet. “It is a saber. A weapon.”

“I assumed it was a weapon- the way you placed it in my face like that.” You replied with a small jest. Inwardly you knew you should be afraid. Commander Ren had threatened you, brandished a weapon at you, choked and then accosted you. And yet....here you were as if none of that had ever happened. As if the entire day had been swept away entirely.

Why was his abrasive presence like a balm? Why did the terror and anger only make you more intrigued by him? Surely it must be some self-loathing, stubborn part of you that caused this.

“Um...can I...what is your name?” You asked now, suddenly feeling shy when but a moment ago you were singing for him. You still felt breathless and there was still an insistent pounding in your loins for more but you pushed that away, knowing that whatever just happened must have been a mistake on his part. Surely he just got carried away- it would not happen again.

Oh maker you wish it would though.

He stared you down through the mask, the weight of his gaze almost as heavy as his body had been against yours. A beat, two and then a quiet, “Kylo...Ren.”

You could not help the tentative smile that rose to your face, making the sore side of your face ache. You told him yours, wanting him to know it and not only be known as Herron’s heir.

“Well...I suppose I should be going then...” You said grimacing at how awkward you sounded. “I...thank you for..for not killing me- and letting me see the crystals light up like that. I-I have never seen them react like that before- not like when you lit up your saber.”

You were sincere, you were grateful as it had been a spectacular sight. There was also gratitude for the adventure. Your life had never been so close to danger like that, it had been thrilling and so stupidly you thanked him for it. Insanity is what this was. Surely so.

Ren made no move or follow you as you left, and truly you had meant to leave. If only the universe had not stopped your feet and made you turn back, “My lord,” you called politely and this time he did turn looking from the opposite side of the room to you slowly and measured.

“I know what I want- that is...if you are still interested?” You asked, feeling daring and brave.

Another tilt in his helmet, an inquisitive one. “What do you want?”

“To call you by name, if that is alright. At the very least if we find ourselves alone again. May I call you Kylo?”

He approached and took your chin in hand, a gentle hold between his thumb and forefinger. With little effort he moved your head to the side, looking closer at the markings no-doubt but making a sound of displeasure that reminded you of earlier that very same night and no doubt the red and angry mark still on your cheek from your father.

“In front of others, you will call me Commander.” He stated as he let go of your chin. You looked up at him the giant that he was, tall and broad and strong. It was not an obvious yes, but definitely not a no. You smiled again and nodded,

“I will see you in the morning then?” You asked and there was a tiny nod. You turned to really leave then, giving him a heartfelt whisper, “Good night," _Kylo._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I uh........here. I literally have never written anything spicy in my life so .... sorry?


	4. An Agreement

Kylo did not return back to his quarters until the sun was almost up. He needed to know you were gone. That nothing would draw you back to him again that night. 

He had gone back to the caves because they were so loud. From the moment he had entered the atmosphere he had heard them, the millions of clusters of Kyber just beneath the surface all humming in tune with the Force around them. It was deafening and while he stood in that small, hidden cave you had unknowingly led him to earlier that day- Kylo Ren blamed the crystals and their constant bombardment on his mind for his actions.

Kylo had been so angry when he had come here. The Force moved differently around you. You weren’t sensitive, not where he could tell yet, but the very particles of air and light seemed to shift and looking at you was both painful and yet undeniable. You looked at him, at his mask, at his saber with eyes that saw through them. He had been suspicious at your first meeting, when you had stared at him as he was bare faced and vulnerable to your calculating gaze.

Now, he hated you. He despised the way your actions, your words, the minuscule amount that you did that grated on his control like a blade through paper. You had appeared here again, in the middle of the night like a gift from the universe wrapped in his undoing. He had meant to demand the truth from you. Force you to fear him until you admitted you had been trained in the ways of the Force. That you were purposefully bombarding his mind with tricks and persuasion.

Instead he had found nothing but a simple sheltered life inside your mind, and the deeper he delved the warmer he became. Like diving into a hot spring the farther he went, the closer he felt to the source and so he kept digging. Kept going until he could almost see the core of you, a white hot dwarf star in the center of your psyche. If he could only grab it he could force it to answer him. To betray you and bend to his will.

You reacted to his assault on your mind as if he were simply making you uncomfortable and not the agony it usually instilled. What was wrong with you? Why were you not screaming in pain? Why did you hold onto him so tight? Why did the crystals react to your distress? They had jolted him- singing him and making it feel like a million needles pressing into his skin. By the end of it, he was probably in more pain that you. 

You were something, the Force strong inside you and he told you as much. It was a taunt then, playing with you to see how much he could push you until some of that power revealed itself.

Too soon it became less of a game and more of a chase. He had meant to push you but ended up dragging himself down to. Your mouth, your noises, your neck- which you so happily offered to him it made him wild. The urge to throw his helmet to the side, to rip your pretty little dress and take what he wanted was like fire in his blood. God it made him boil. It made him even more vicious than normal.

He wanted to fuck you. To take you on the floor of that fucking cave and watch the Kyber light up with your pleasure. Would it be purple or red by the end of it? When you clung to him and cried out for him would the color remain that virginal pale lavender?

Kylo bit back a groan at the thought and tried to return to meditating. He was painfully hard but he would need to keep his wits about him this morning. Hux could not be trusted with the collection of the Kyber- Hux had lost a tiny droid, a shackled pilot and one of their own troopers in the span of a day.

The rage was back, filling the space the lust had filled mere moments ago. He would find that BB8 unit. He would find Luke Skywalker and he would end the Jedi once and for all. It was his destiny. These Kyber crystals would be used for weapons for his new Empire- for sabers for a new generation of Sith warriors.

Another pained groan escaped through his teeth as the image of you, holding his saber with that awestruck look in your eyes. What would you do with it...he wondered. He imagined you lifting it high, swinging it down and slicing through your enemy.

Fuck.

Kylo was in trouble. He needed these discussions done with quickly. He needed to be rid of you and this planet quickly before he did something the Supreme Leader would surely seek punishment for. 

A Trooper chose that exact moment to arrive to tell him the meeting was soon. Kylo stood grabbing at his saber and letting his neck pop. He settled back into his rage, into his hated and into his place as Commander of the First Order. Leader of the Knights of Ren. He would obtain what he desires, and nothing and no one would stand in his way.

On impulse, Kylo swung and cut the Storm Trooper in half. Hearing him gurgle and scream for all of a second before he was dead. He had been hoping to release the bubbling tension in his groin, but at the sight of the blood- the carnage- and the sound of the saber it only made it worse. Turning back towards his room, Kylo dissipated his saber, locked his door and realized he would be late to fucking breakfast.

  
  


You nibbled at cracker numbly. Sitting at your father’s feet like you always do. This time your pillow had been exchanged for a light gray one, trimmed with white gold and shimmering tassels that blanketed outward. Your headdress was a different one this time, made with white glass and mostly teardrop shaped gemstones. You had been told to wear something special for the occasion and so you wore a flowing silver-blue gown with dark almost black beaded hemline and similar colored lace sleeves. Sitting on your knees with your legs out at the side you let the events of the past night replay in your head without a care. You would envision your lustful and scandalous tryst in the caves with Kylo Ren so vividly in hopes your father might see your thoughts and blush. 

The Commander was still absent; General Hux and Lieutenant Trein both sat at a long table across a large open fire pit, where only low, blue embers breathed now. This was supposed to be breakfast but it was really just the beginning of talks for a trade agreement. Herron sat his own table, which was placed slightly to the left of him so that you could still be viewed and ogled at. Your own breakfast had been served on a tray, trimmed in gold and the bottom of it mirrored. You hated taking meals with foreigners here- they never let you eat anything you could not nibble demurely at with your fingers. 

You were starving and they gave you finger sandwiches and biscuits. At least the veil hid your disdain for the most part, as well as the bruise that had began to blossom on your right cheekbone.

“So, I have shown you what I offer General.” Herron said as he took a large bite of a meat filled pie from his utensil. “What does the First Order offer for my Kyber?”

General Hux, tense little man, scowled and sat stiffly in his chair, “There is much to be offered, but we must first know what you value. Make your demands then, let us go from there.”

Ah, you glanced up at your father with a mischievous smile- what will you say to that Herron? Finally he must speak plainly of what he seeks from the First Order.

“I want my planet secure, as any good ruler would.” Herron said with a stern look, “I wish my people to be protected and cared for even beyond my years. I hope to leave this world better than I obtained it.”

“Weapons then?” Trein said being blunt. “You have no army to give them to.”

“I am aware, and that will change I can assure you.” Herron replied with a gentle movement of his hand. “What I want is this- I want an alliance more than a simple trade deal. I want to work with the First Order to make your people and my own stronger. I offer my Kyber and some land for a base if you wish to have it. Train soldiers, house prisoners- I do not care. I want protection. If my planet is threatened I want the promise of a First Order response and retaliation. I want money in exchange for my Kyber and for all the mining and processing to be done here, on this planet.”

Trein looked over to his General. Hux looked calculative, absorbing Herron’s words and moving to speak but being interrupted. Looking up you saw the Commander- Kylo Ren, your mind corrected- enter. He looked as powerful and regal as ever, and moved to his empty chair next to Hux without a word. Your only halfway heard Herron greet him and say good morning- you were too busy watching him.

A hot rush rose to your cheeks, the markings on your face glowing unconsciously with this unnamed fluttering feeling thrumming in your chest. 

“It is more than you asked for originally, King Herron.” Hux said monotonously, “An allegiance is not so easily awarded.”

“But who better than I?” Herron laughed with a scoff, “I see no other planet with no ties to either the Republic or the Resistance! You will find no better canvas to start with than here, very few have even heard of the First Order let alone any fabled resistance!” 

“The Kyber- when can we begin mining?” Trein asked, changing the subject slightly.

“As soon as an agreement is made.” Herron replied sharply. 

You rolled your eyes and plucked a round berry from your tray eating it slowly as you were taught to and sighing at how hungry you were. Perhaps Ashda would fetch you something substantial from the kitchen when you got back to your room- something like a cake. Oh! A Harmonia cake sounded heavenly, sweet honey.... rich spicy jam.... light and fluffy....

“What is to stop us from taking your planet and your Kyber?”

Your broke from your daydream of lighter-than-air cakes at the Commander’s voice. Kylo Ren had just- he had just threatened to take it all! Not just the Kyber but your planet too!

You jerked your head to look up at your father pleadingly. Surely Herron could not be so stupid! He had to do something! The First Order would decimate your peaceful planet.

“I’m sure there is very little preventing you from doing so, Commander Ren.” Herron’s voice was on the very edge of anger, a dangerous place for it to be when you are near. She swallowed the thick lump in your throat when he reached down to pet the back of your head, and attempt to soothe himself. If he was not soothed however- “An agreement between the two parties just means wasting as little resources as possible. Why should you sacrifice troopers and weapons on my willing planet when you have so much left of the galaxy to cover?”

So your father was that stupid. Your chin lowered and you just stared at the ground in front of you. You were all doomed.

“Certainly,” Hux mused back, “Why don’t we simply begin with a trading agreement and in three months time- should you be able to hold up your end of the bargain and remain loyal to the First Order- then an alliance shall be offered.”

“And protection from simple take-over?” Herron spat back harshly. 

“Let us agree to a weekly shipment of however much Kyber you can manage to mine. During that time, you will be under no threat from us. The First Order will set up a temporary port close to the mines, and we will do our business there.”

“That sounds amicable.” Herron said, slightly appeased, “Though I do hope that you intend to pay handsomely for this rare resource. I will not be shorted.”

“Name your price each week and we will fulfill it- within reason.” Hux replied. Your father only responded with a low hum, and more petting to the back of your head. You wished to go back to when you were young, when this show of affection had been comforting and not degrading.

You nibbled at another biscuit, seeing how long you could make it last while the General and king began to talk numbers. About an envoy from each party being stationed full time at the outpost, and how to handle matters should anything go wrong.

Mindlessly you looked over to the Commander. Kylo Ren seemed as bored by this as you did, and as soon as you looked to him- he looked to you. It was the most peculiar thing, this feeling of certainty in the things that he did. You never would assume someone to be staring at you and yet something bone-deep inside you knew him. Knew that he was watching you with the same inquisitiveness that you watched him. Why he was intrigued by you that you would never be able to guess, but it was a welcome attention. However murderous and dangerous he may seem, he was interesting and you mourned the fact that soon he would leave to never return. You wondered, pausing in your nibbling, if you would have the chance to be touched by him again. To say his name so casually and speak to someone without whispering.

  
  


“So, a trade agreement.” Ashda’s voice was hollow and you looked up at her from where you ate at your cake with more fervor than a highborn lady should.

“Yes, father made an agreement with the First Order to let them mine the crystals. Don’t ask me why, I don’t know why they want them.” You replied with a shrug, returning to your cake.

Ashda had just returned with clean laundry and made conversation, though you wish it was about something else.

“Those caves are sacred though!” Ashda cried out, approaching you quickly and getting into your personal space, “How could you let him do that?!”

You couldn’t help the laugh that left you, “My father doesn’t allow me to speak around others! You think if I had said anything I would be alive right now? No, I don’t let him do anything. The king does what he wants, regardless of anyone else.”

“Surely you can say something!” Ashda argued, “No one must enter those caves! What of your promises! For when you are Queen!?”

Ah yes.... the childhood promises of making it so any and all could enter the caves. You wanted to give the caves and their crystals back to the Iliad, but you figured the caves would be empty by the time you could even touch the throne.

“I...I tried, Ashda.” You said sadly, “I tried to tell my father that this wasn’t right but he....he said no.”

“Is that all?” Ashda accused, “Or did you sprout a new blue mark only on your right side?”

You reached up to touch your tender cheek, “He may have been adamant.”

“One day....I swear....” Ashda said almost to herself. You sat your cake to the side and sighed.

“It is okay, Ashda.” You tried reassuring her, “It doesn’t hurt and one day I swear I’ll get him back.”

Ashda looked to you with pity in her beautiful eyes, and before you could blink she pulled you into a hug. “I need to go. I asked for the rest of the evening off to visit my family. I’m sorry.”

“No no!” You insisted hugging her back, “Please, go. Tell them I said hello, and tell the cook to let you have the rest of my cake. Take it to them.”

“Your harmonia cake?” Ashda asked, pulling away slightly. It was a traditional dessert on Elysia, one rarely made anymore.

“Yes, and whatever else you would like. Enjoy your day off. I will be fine.” 

Ashda smiled brighter than the sun and jumped back into a hug, this time pressing the side of her face to yours. The hum of her markings tickled yours and felt like home. You smiled and thanked her, before she all but skipped away.

You finished your plate of cake and then left it for a steward to come and pick it up. Then idly made you way to busy yourself with a puzzle. You had barely sat down when something- you couldn’t claim to know what- made you stand back up.

The hairs on the back of your neck stood up, and it was like those tiny fishhooks were back. Pulling at your skin and making your feet move. You walked over to the door to your bedroom and opened up to the drawing room of your quarters. There, in the middle, stood an out of place knight.

“C-Commander...” You whispered, exiting your bedroom and shutting the door behind you.

“So,” He began, “You can sense me.”

That confused you and you must have shown that plainly on your face by the way he took a step forward and spoke low.

“You did not hear me. You did not see me, and you knew I was here.” He said in that delicious baritone.

“I didn’t know it was you....” You stuttered out, feeling warm again.

“Then what did you think it was?” He asked, sounding genuinely intrigued. You took in a deep breath and fumbled for an answer.

“I don’t know! It was....” You paused, “It is the most strange feeling. Like- Like there are hooks in my skin....in my muscles and bones. They don’t tell me anything. I didn’t know it was you they just...led me here.”

Kylo looked at you for a moment, tilting his head as if to search for more. You didn’t have anything else to tell him; you had no explanation! But something told you that he did.

“Why are you here? This...This is my room you shouldn’t be here.” You said feeling a touch scandalized.

“You don’t want me here?” Kylo Ren asked sounding like he already knew the answer to his question was very proud about it.

“I- It’s not that.” You fumbled on your reply, “If my father found you here we would both be in trouble.”

He grabbed you. With all the fierceness and claws that he had used in the cave, only this time he skipped the threatening of your life. With his hands on your waist you were moved backwards until you back hit the wall, grateful it wasn’t sharp crystals anymore. 

“I am not afraid of your king, little thing.” Kylo rasped in your ear, “Do you think he can touch me?”

“N-no.” You whispered voice breathless and hot. “It would j-just be....be me. I...”

“You think I’ll let him touch you?” 

A high whine left you, a feeling you wanted to clutch and never let go off returning to your chest. Your spine felt like his saber looked, reactive and completely at his control. As much as Kylo’s words affected you, you knew they were just to get you riled up.

There some kind of finality in this interaction, a feeling one has standing at the end of a dead end path before you have to turn around and go back the way you came. So, to savor the view at the end of this path, you raised your hand and gently ran your finger along the smooth black carbon that was covering his mouth. It felt like a kiss, though you would not know. You wanted to kiss him, as silly as that was.

“Has.-ah Has an agreement been made?” You asked as he pressed himself firmly against you and rolled his hips like it was the most natural thing in the world.

“Mm,” The static grumble seemed to be an affirmative, “Tell me about these....hooks.”

“Uh...I-It is hard to speak when you are-” You stuttered out as his gloved hand swept down from your ribs to your backside clawing and lifting you with ease. A squeak escaped you as you raised your legs to be held against the wall easier, the soft skirts of your dress being raised high to reveal the soft skin of your legs up to your knee on one side and upper thigh on the other.

“You sensed me.” He repeated and you huffed out a scoff- as if you were supposed to know what that meant.

“I didn’t know it was you!” You said insistently, holding onto his shoulders and looking into the part of his helmet where you assumed his eyes were.

“Yes you did.” He sounded almost amused now, “The Force is strong in you.”

“The what is what?” You blurted out, head tilting to the side and trying to make sure you heard him right. “What is the Force?”

A beat of silence and suddenly the pressure behind your eyes was back, warm and less painful now but still odd. It made your mind spin and flashes of images: sights, smells, tastes, touches. A thousand things bombarding your sense all at once. It was overwhelming and terrifying, feeling suddenly like you could feel and hear every living thing within a ten mile radius. Their heartbeats like thunder in your ears, lives like blinding candlelight, burning hot and steady. The smell of grass, of smoke, hot oil, fish, seawater all at once indistinguishable and yet identifiable all at the same time. You clung to Kylo tighter as the sensation only worsened, pain and sorrow building in your chest but great joy and excitement rivaling it. You felt like you were being torn apart into a million different directions, and the only thing you could do was claw at Kylo’s chest and try not to die.

“That is the Force.”

You blinked blearily up at his mask as the sensations began to fade away. It felt like stepping back into your own body that you hadn’t realized you had left. The sensation of breathing felt foreign and forced for a few dragging moments and you didn’t realize you were practically off the wall now. Your were still close to it, being held completely and effortlessly by Kylo, but you had somehow managed to curl yourself around him. Face hiding in his neck and arms wrapped around his shoulders.

“That....It’s terrifying.” You said weakly, “Why....I don’t understand.”

While you tried to gather yourself back together, Kylo hummed and you felt the noise in his chest.

“I am leaving.” He told you, “I will come back, to train you.”

You raised your head back up and felt the world spin when you did, “You’re leaving?”

A nod was all you got. You were not sure if the disappointment was your own or an echo of whatever it was that just happened. You placed your head back down and sighed, “What if I don’t want to be trained?”

“You do.” He answered quickly. Damn him, so certain and sure. You did not know yourself and yet his tone made it seem so easy.

“My father will kill me.”

  
  


Kylo Ren and General Hux left that very evening despite your father trying his best to persuade them to at least stay another evening. You were next to your father, having been given the blessing to stand, but behind him like an insignificant afterthought. It felt like a reward though, getting to bow to the First Order and watch from the terrace as their ship lifted into the air and zipped away, a streak of light in the night sky.

Life returned to a semblance of normal, as normal as it could with the large absence of your mother and the dozen more guards that patrolled at night.

It was on a normal night, as you lie in bed that you felt something. At first, it had awoken you from a dreamless sleep and you thought it might have been an echo from a dream you had already forgotten. But then, again. The most peculiar sensation.

Was this the Force? Was something happening? Surely something was happening if it was enough to wake you. After sitting up in bed, and looking around the room you- you felt it more than you heard it. A rumble from the ground that radiated up and barely tangible by the time it reached your senses.

It was oddly timed, happening in sequence but then with random intervals in between. Sleep still clung to your mind and kept your eyes heavy and so it took longer than you would have liked to get up, grab a robe and some slippers before leaving your bedroom.

The blue-fire in the hearth of your drawing room burned low, and left you with little light to travel to the door to the hall. You made it easily as the furniture had not been moved for some time.

The guard just outside of your door had been a shock, enough to make you gasp in surprise as the sudden figure. Why were two guards being stationed outside your door?

The left guard, closer to the opening of the door turned, their shimmering armor that sparkled like stars in low light gleaming from the window on the far side of the hall. Their helmet was more decorative that functional and only covered the upper part of the face from nose and up.

“Good evening, your grace.” The guard greeted softly. It was a tall woman, human from what you could tell. She did not seem angry to see you, nor immediately forced you back to bed, so perhaps your original assumption that they had been placed here to keep you inside was wrong.

“Good evening,” You replied quietly, sounding pitifully drowsy, “I...What is that? That rumbling?”

The guard tilted her head and shrugged, “Forgive me you grace, we haven’t noticed anything.”

“It’s a rumbling.” You insisted as another echoed through the palace, powerful enough to make the crystal chandeliers above you chime.

“Ah....that is probably the mines then.” The other guard spoke up in realization.

“Right, that is probably it. They began today.” The woman guard replied, looking to her partner and then to you. “Only the mines, your grace. Best you try and get some rest and ignore it- I’m sure it won’t last very long.”

You gave a nod to the guard and shut the door, drawing back inside your quarters with ice collecting around your heart. Another, quieter rumble you could feel as you took off your slippers felt like a punch to the gut. You climbed back into bed, knowing now that it the guards had been put there to keep you in your room. Your father certainly did not want you to interfere with his agreement.

You wanted to. You wanted to throw yourself out of bed and rush to the caves to demand they all stop. But, what would that do? Likely lead to a harsh punishment and they would only resume as soon as you left.

And so, you lay in your bed wide awake and sobbing quietly into your pillow as with each rumble you felt like you could feel the cries of your friends. The sorrow as they were ripped from the ground and torn apart.


	5. Foolhardy

  
Its was startling how easily this became your new normal. How life on your planet went from isolation and independence to First Order outposts and new embassies. It had barely been a week and already three other planets tied to the First Order had visited to discuss trading and possible treaties for refugees, prisons and so many inconsequential words that didn’t mean anything to you. It was all nonsense and white noise.   
It should be shameful the anticipation you felt with every new entrance to the atmosphere. The edge of your seat excitement thinking that the Commander of the First Order was making good on his word of coming for you. There was always a hint of shame at the disappointment that settled in your gut when it was not him, and you swore you would never speak of it to anyone. You could barely admit it to yourself.   


Admit the fact that the prospect of leaving your entire life behind to follow a masked commander for a tyrannical order thrilled you beyond belief. That at night you dreamed of black leather gloves and the thick fabric of his cloak as you let it drop to the floor. Of wisps of thick dark hair and scarred skin.   


It was in the middle of the night, sleep evading you and the now near constant low rumble of the mining keeping your mind alight. At first, when a guard entered your room with all the energy of someone running for their life you could only blink in a daze from where you lay. When he ushered two more frazzled looking guards inside and then moved your chaise lounge to barricade the door, you were up and out of bed. It all came to you so slowly, confusion making your head swim as the guards frantically discussed among themselves- seeming to not have noticed you.  


“That is on the other side of the kriffing palace!” One of them shouted, getting into the tallest one’s face, “You wanna try and get past a bunch of glowy Iliads to try and help some kitchen wench be my guest.”  


“Both of you, quiet!” The woman guard from the other night snapped out and pushed them both apart. She grabbed at the one who had yelled by his breast plate and shoved him to the ground, “Get your head on straight Guk! You wanna turn on your fellow men now, really?”  


Guk, the guard who landed flat on his ass huffed out and stood stockily, impeded by his clunky and decorative armor. The woman, who you remembered was name Tonya. Tonya then turned to the taller guard who looked ready to fall over and shaking like a thin reed in the wind. 

“You too,” Tonya’s voice was gentler now, “I know you want to go see your wife, but she’s Iliad isn’t she? She’ll be fine.”  
The guard seemed to absorb this and nodded.  


“What- what is going on?” You asked, finally finding your voice but it coming out squeaking and high. The guards turned to you as if they forgot whose room they had barricaded themselves into and they quickly and reflexively bowed. Tonya stepped forward and grabbed your dressing robe from where it hung and gently handed it to you.  


“Put this on, and any shoes you can find my lady. There is a situation- it will be handled I assure you.” Tonya seemed keen on treating like a child and though you obeyed and tied your robe tightly around your waist and slipped on your slippers- you would not let her slide by with such an unsatisfactory answer.  


“What kind of situation?” You demanded looking at all three guards with as stern a glare as you could muster. The nameless one still trembled, hand on his blaster and looking towards the barricaded door with an intense stare. Guk seemed to refer to Tonya to deal with you as he moved to stand next to the other man and stand guard at the door. 

“A group of Iliad have invaded the palace,” Tonya said and your stomach dropped. “We do not know their intentions yet, but it will be solved soon.”  
You knew why. You knew their intentions as it would have been your own had you had any real power. Though you kept this to yourself, three armed guards with allegiance to your father and not to you were not to be inherently trusted with information that could possibly incriminate you. You had no ties to this attack, but the markings on your cheek would be enough to sign your death warrant should the shell-shocked soldiers locked in your room decide it so. You glanced to the makeshift barricade and then to the calm-appearing Tonya and scowled. “Why have you barricaded in here? Why are you not out there?”  


Tonya make a grunting sound in her throat, possibly because by all rights they should be out there- fighting to protect the palace and not hiding with the princess like they were all damsels in distress. “We are here to protect you. They will likely target you to get to your father.”  


“You do not know their intentions. They are my people- surely they would not harm me.” You argued hoping it was true but knowing it wasn’t. to humans you were only half-human and to the Iliad you were only half-Iliad. If they came for you it would be with all the malice your father had accrued.   


“Forgive me, my lady but we cannot take that chance.” Tonya replied sternly.  
You debated silently to yourself for a few moments as Tonya moved to the barricade and taking command. The Iliad were here, a group of them but perhaps all of them. Likely because of a endless list of grievances and horrors the royal family had committed over the years- and a dozen more committed over the past week. Rightly they should be angry and your father was a fool for pushing them away and not addressing them. Surely....surely if you could only speak to them- you could convince them to discuss matters peacefully.   


It could be life-altering. Perhaps you could present yourself as a willing hostage, to force Herron’s hand. You could work with the Iliad to better their situation, and perhaps even save the rest of the caves.   
You hadn’t realized you had made a decision on the matter until you were silently slinking away. Back towards your bathroom and to the maintenance panel just inside it. You had it open in no time, and were gone into the darkness with it closed behind you before the guards had even decided whether to hide you or give you a gun.  
It was a cramped space you crawled through, dusty and filthy and you could feel it collect on the delicate material of your nightdress and robe. You knew the way to the gardens, as it was a secret tunnel you had used when you were younger. However, you were not trying to escape to the gardens but trying to find the people who were likely coming to kidnap you.  


You followed your nose, the smell of something burning and the sound of chaotic commotion driving you through the twists and turns of the tunnels. When you found another hatch, this one would be harder to get out of. You moved to the control panel and attempted the codes you were familiar with but to no avail. When diplomacy with the little buttons failed you moved to sit on your butt and kicked out at it with the heel of your shoe. It sparked and shattered easily and you heard the machinery behind the hatch whir in upset. Bracing yourself on your arms you kicked out with both feet against the door, grunting with exertion and panting.   


It felt like the air was scarce in here, and with another two kicks the door popped off and fell to the stone floor outside with a loud clash. You couldn’t seem to get out of the tunnel fast enough, but found yourself being pulled by your ankles with enough force to haul you completely into the room and crashing onto the floor below. It was only a foot or so drop, but the corner of the hatch caught the back of your head and the flat of the stone smacked all the air from your lungs and punched you squarely in the gut.  


There was a second where everything was black, whirling and nauseating. You couldn’t tell where you were, which way was up, or what had pulled you so harshly.   


You realized too slowly that the pressure on your chest was not from your fall but from a muddy boot pushing you down and pinning you to the floor. Your blurred vision cleared enough to see an Iliad man attached to the foot aggressively twisting into your sternum. The markings on the bridge of his nose and cheekbones glowed iridescent green and the look of anger in his eyes made you hold up your hands next to your head to show your submission. Reflexively you tilted your head to the side to show him your markings and defer.  


“Please! Please I mean no harm!” You cried out, trembling worse than the soldier in your room had been.  


“Wait!” A voice from nearby shouted, another man approaching with magenta markings dotting under his eyes and placing a hand on the green one’s shoulder. “Don’t shoot, she’s one of us.”

“Look at her!” The green one snarled, “It’s Herron’s little pet! She isn’t one of us.”

The magenta marked Iliad looked down and examined you, his blaster lowered to his side. Another older man approached, this one marks were gold and linear, going almost all the way down his jaw.

“You!” The gold Iliad demanded, barking down at you, “Who are you!?”

You looked back up at them, keeping your hands open and palms up. You struggled to catch your breath as fear and a foot weighed you down.

“H-he’s right! I...I am Herron’s daughter!” You spluttered out and screamed when the green one’s blaster got closer to your face, “I want to help! I don’t want to hurt anyone please! Please! I want to help!”

The green one scoffed and you swore you heard his blaster power up- ready to fire when the magenta one grabbed it and pointed it away. The magenta one shoved the green one away and you scrambled back as quick as you could, coughing and trying to breathe. The green and magenta Iliad men scuffled for a minute while the gold one approached you.

“You have helped enough, half-breed.” The man snarled and spat at your face. You cried as he grabbed at your hair first, hauling you up and to your feet and then grabbing your arms to twist them behind you and together. It hurt and you could only sob and cry and pathetically try and wiggle away.

“What are we gonna do with her?” The green one asked, holding his blaster firmly while the magenta one looked to you with almost pity. 

“We make an example of her.” The gold one, the leader, replied. “Herron can’t just fuck and Iliad and think we will sit idly by because he has some of our blood at his side.”

“She hasn’t done anything though.” The magenta one argued, “We can’t punish her for her father-s”

“She is the one who showed them the caves! Showed them the crystals and paved the way for the First Order to bend us over and fuck us more than her family already was!” Green snarled. “I say we hang her in front of the palace, let Herron know his pet-protection has expired.”

“No.” The gold one, “Give her to Ashda. Let them throw her in the caves. Let the First Order blow her to pieces when the mine in the morning.”  
You had but a single moment to startle at Ashda’s name before the crackling of electricity deafened you and you were stunned into unconsciousness. 

* * *

When you woke up, it was to darkness and pain. Your entire body ached and throbbed and it was all you could do to groan out in agony and roll onto your back. Sharp stones and rubble met the sensitive skin of your shoulders and poked into your skin. It was horribly quiet wherever you were, your own rasping breaths frighteningly loud. 

It took a few more moments for you to come to. The darkness was not a deficit of your eyes, as they were not injured but because you were exactly where they had told you you would be. The caves. It was all but rubble now, and when you had tried to sing to the crystals to see anything, only a few tiny shards lit up dimly. You crawled to where one cracked shard lie, letting your voice rest and the room go dark again. Taking the crystal in hand it reacted to your touch with a gentle warm glow, thrumming underneath your palm like a little fluttering bird.

You held the little crystal close to your chest and tried to slow your frantic heart and breath. Take in what was around you and not to panic.

Obviously your attempt to team up with the Iliad uprising had failed more than miserably. They had thrown you into the caves, and it was so dark that it would be foolish to just walk aimlessly without direction. The tunnels went throughout the entire planet, with only three entrances that you knew of. The Iliad could know of hundreds more entrances now, and you would spend the rest of your miserable life trying to find a way out that they had already blocked off. 

The area you were in was already rubble, so it had already been mined out at least once. There was barely anything left except rock and earth, all the crystals had already been taken away. That was a good thing, you decided after a moment of mourning their loss. If the crystals were gone that meant no mining here, no crazy explosions that would take you with them. However, that also meant that no one would just come upon this place by accident- only someone coming to your rescue.

And....surely there would be someone coming. 

Your body protested when you stood up, humming a soft whining tune to light up the remnants of luminescent crystals to light a path. There was too much to worry about now. Too much to hope for and to fear. For right now, you needed to find somewhere safe to hide. You needed to sleep- to rest. It was all you could really think of right now. Finding a nearby wall of stone, you moved the small rubble away to make yourself a small patch to sit back down. Reclining against a large, rounded stone you let out a small whine as your body reluctantly relaxed. 

At this point, you were too tired to be sad or even scared. You felt at home here, even with all the carnage- safer here than in the palace. As stupid as it was, you let your eyes drift close and drift away, still holding the little kyber close to your chest.


	6. Where you Belong

“An uprising?” Hux’ voice was its customary mix of sounding tense enough to snap in half and so utterly displeased he may commit an atrocity. Lieutenant Trein stood across from the general, illuminated by the holotable between them with a lazily turning map of the galaxy being displayed. Trein did not make much eye contact with Hux as he scrolled through a report on his handheld datapad.  


Trein made a small noise of affirmation as he tapped lightly on the screen, “I only received the report this morning- it was from the central mining facility. It was barely even a distress signal saying that they were attacked and ransacked by a militia of the native species. So far as I can tell from their....lackluster wording- is that for the time being mining has been halted.”

Kylo watched from the sidelines, glancing over to Hux who visibly did not show the sharp spike of irritation that rose in his head. Hux made a motion to the lieutenant and without having to ask, Trein sent the transmission over to the holotable for it to be played.

An officer of the First Order from the shoulders up flickered to life in the neon blue on the table, looking frightened beyond belief.

“This is Officer Melne reporting for immediate assistance to mining outpost E dash one A seven. Local government has been overthrown by uprising of native Iliad. Local monarch has lost control of local rebellion and they have taken the mines. We are under attack, I repeat we are under attack.”

The transmission cut out, and quickly the other officers who had looked up from their own work resumed, trying to avoid Hux’ attention. No one could miss the sound of blaster fire in the background of the transmission, the screech of a walker, and a single rumbling explosion in the distance. It sounded more like war than a simple rebellion.

Trein swiped at his datapad to return to holotable to its normal, drifting map and made a small sigh. Lieutenant Trein was despicably aloof and only took his job serious enough to be satisfactory. Kylo Ren did not like Trein, for many reasons. Granted Kylo Ren did not like most people, and normally he would avoid the people he did not like by stalking around the Finalizer or making himself busy with training. By all rights, Kylo didn’t need to be here. These meetings were a daily occurrence for Hux as his subordinates made their reports in person. It was an informative affair and honestly quite entertaining as officers and lieutenants all shook in their standard-issue boots in fear of a disappointing Hux or angering Commander Ren. 

This particular lineup of officers, including Trein, were in charge of supply and materials for the First Order. Lieutenant Trein oversaw mining and ore mostly, and most recently a new treaty with Elysia. 

Kylo Ren, as Commander, was interested in all the goings-on of the First Order, but he would be lying if he said he wasn’t particularly interested in Elysia and its kyber. There had never been such a large deposit of kyber in the charted galaxy ever. Never off Ilum and never so easily accessible. Kylo knew better than most what one single point of kyber could do, and not the First Order has thousands. They could power Hux’ pet project with it, and a new generation of Sith sabers.

Perhaps he would start with you. 

“A group of natives has made you lose your footing, Lieutenant?” Hux taunted with a sneer. Other underlings would shrivel under the jab, but Trein only lazily looked up to Hux and sighed.

“Seems so, General.” Trein replied with his signature nonchalance, “The monarch, Herron, requested our assistance to take back the planet in accordance with our agreement. The extent of the native rebellion’s control has yet to be determined.”

Hux huffed, annoyed at the very notion. “We agreed to protect them from foreign threats, not from themselves. What is your plan for this slight, Trein?”

Trein groaned and read at his report again, seeming to search for his answer. “There are a couple options, none are exceptional. The kyber was barely harvested, there is still much to offer there- but the First Order already possesses more than any other entity in the galaxy so....We could send a small battalion to retake the planet. We could just take it, place our own diplomat in charge, but face more intense backlash from the natives. Or, we could assist Herron in taking back his planet but under changes to our agreement- more kyber for less, but he has already proven himself weak. Then, there is the option to lean into the rebellion. From my report, the native Iliad are humanoid and wish to reclaim their home planet from human control. They do not agree with the mining, but perhaps if we gave them back a seat of power an arrangement could be made- there is no guarantee though.”

Hux took a moment to ponder the options and Trein was right, none of the options were spectacular. Kylo attempted to listen in closer, but for some reason he was wound tight. Mind stretched thin and something akin to a silent siren whirring in the back of his head- blinding, tiny, and incessant all at once.

“Well?” Hux said after another beat, prompting Trein to make the decision for himself. It was a test obviously, as this incident did not look good on Trein’s lackluster record.

“I suggest we simply take Elysia.” Trein replied matter-of-factly, “The kyber is too valuable to allow it to fall into anyone else’s control. Some primitive natives cannot be trusted, and Herron is weak and without an heir now. He is likely to be overtaken again.”  
Without an heir? 

It was odd, how the statement said so calmly struck something in Kylo’s mind. It felt like a lie, like Trein knew it was wrong but was purposefully saying different. However, if Herron had been overthrown then who was to say you had not been taken in the crossfire- tossed to the side like the trinket you were displayed as.

Kylo was up and moving out of the room before a decision was made. The walls of the Finalizer were wide and made for moving military grade materials and machinery, but at times like these they felt like tunnels. The slit of his helmet made it all the more narrow as he stalked down towards his unknown location, determined but thoughtless as he followed that incorrigible temptation in the back of his mind. 

It lead him to an all but deserted part of the ship, and to an even more isolated supply closet. Kylo stormed inside, huffing out a garbled mess of static through the voice modulator. What was this feeling? It felt like when the Supreme Leader would summon him, similar but it could not be more different. 

When he entered the cramped and dust covered room, the feeling and shift in the Force became an audible noise. A tiny rasping breath, frantic and hurried. It was paired with an echoing and ethereal noise- like an impossibly high-pitched song that was far, far away.

Of all the things Kylo expected when he entered the room, seeing you kneeling on the floor of the supply closet on your hands and knees, eyes half0closed but hands frantically clawing at the ground beneath you- that....that was one of the last things.

It took a moment for him to move, or react. But your soft muttering voice reached him like an echo from to opposite side of a cave.

“Don’t go....don’t....don’t go. I didn’t go. I didnt. Go. go...go.” You repeated your nonsense breathlessly, not noticing him even when he approached and crouched down to you. He knew you were not really here. The feeling alone was enough to tell him this was some twisted vision conjured by the Force.

“Blue...it was blue....blue. Blue. Blue. Blue.” You sounded close to tears, voice shuddering like a sob with each passing word. Kylo reached out, only his hand to stop an inch away from your arm. Your entire body freezing in place as you whirled to look up, eyes wild and golden.

“You’re alive.” He said, unsure why but feeling the need to remind you. Even with such distance, he could feel your signature in the Force. You were alive, the image in front of him showing you right in this moment. The only question that remained was why. 

“Blue.” You said to him, quietly, before clenching your eyes shut and shaking your head. Hands going to your temples you let your forehead crack onto the floor below while you clawed at your head. “It’s so loud....the singing. Its never been so....laugh....laughter. Loud. Longing laughter. I can’t....”

Kylo pulled at the Force around him, drawing it to his his hand and forcing the fabric of the universe to obey him. He grabbed your hand and pulled it away from your hair, jerking you up until you were sitting upright and not driving your face into what he could only assume was rocks. He could only see you, and he assumed you could only see him- nothing else around each other.

Kylo would have to ask the Supreme Leader what this meant later. But... in all his training, Kylo was raised- trained to never ignore such a powerful sign from the Force. It was senseless, and insane why he could see you of all the people in the galaxy.

You were alive, in the caves most likely since you mentioned singing. From the looks of you, you did not make it out of the attack unscathed, tattered nightdress doing little more than hanging off of you in filthy scraps. From the bruises and sound of your breath you had broken ribs and most likely more unseen injuries. 

You would die and soon if nothing was done.

With a single lapse in concentration, you were gone only a soft whisper of your voice remaining but residing only in his head. 

Being Commander of the First Order had its perks, and one of those was being able to move people, troopers and lazy lieutenants like Trein as quickly as he wanted them. Kylo could care less what happened to Elysia and it’s government. He wanted the kyber. He wanted you. He had Trein commissioning Troopers in under an hour, and a shuttle with coordinates to Elysia by the end of the day. Trein argued that more time was needed to properly plan an assault like this, but the very said of a light saber was very convincing. 

Entering the atmosphere of Elysia was like walking into a room on fire. If he had thought the kyber beneath the surface were loud the last time he was here, then now it was nauseating. The sound was like voices but not. Singing but screaming. It was like the smell of smoke that burned his nose and throat and made him want to cough and gag.

Two separate squadrons were sent out, one to the main palace and the second to the mines. The main First Order outpost needed to be retrieved and the speed and ease in which it was retaken was laughable.

Kylo, granted, did not see any of it. When the ramp to his ship opened, he was making his way to the caves. His saber made easy work of the ruble blocking his path. Being on the surface of Elysia made it easy to find you, like a hound following a scent he would not be deterred.

You had made, what could only be called a nest, and you had clearly lost your mind. The crystals were unbelievably loud, loud enough Kylo swore he could make out words in the song they sang. You, who had lived here, been trapped here, you seemed to make sense of the song but also driven mad by it. You mumble to yourself and cried as if they were demanding horrific things of you. Your face was bloodied and bruised, your skin fever-hot and the nest you had made crackled like broken machinery, sparking with electricity and raw power. i

It was dangerous to be here, a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. Kylo did not have time to wonder whether that is what the kyber wanted- if kyber could want anything at all. Kylo was on a mission, and would as much gentleness as he could muster he lifted you, heaving you up and over his shoulder to carry you with one arm around you and the other holding his saber. You cried and sobbed at the sight of the violent red blade, reaching for it more than once as if it wouldn’t slice your fingers right off. 

After what seemed like an endless hike, the two of you breached the caves and the sunlight was pleasant and warm. You clenched your eyes closed, blinded for a moment while seeming to slowly but surely come back to your senses. Your words became less frantic, repeating less nonsense, but becoming quieter.

It was only when Kylo put you into his shuttle, onto a medical cot that you said the first sane thing in a week.

“Commander?” You rasped, reaching up to touch at his helmet to convince yourself he was there. “Did you kill them?”

Kylo didn’t know who you were talking about but nodded anyway, “Yes, they are dead.”

You smiled and laughed softly, “That....I knew you would....” You blinked a few times and then your amusement turned to worry, “My father, what about him?”

“Alive.” He stated plainly, and was struck by the look of disappointment on your face. Kylo could not hear your thoughts like one might hear words, but the feeling- the images that rose were not what one would expect when you tell a child their parent is alive.

“Can I see him? Will you take me to him?” You asked quietly, hesitantly as if expecting him to deny you.

He should say no. You were injured and needed medical attention. But something dark and vile inside of him made him nod, and pick you back up, a bit more gentle this time. The anger inside you was palpable, sweet and tangy on his tongue. It made his gut clench and he would take you to see your father, just to see what would happen.

Herron had been retrieved for questioning, and was standing near an officer with only a few scratches and scorch marks on his clothing. Herron saw you before you saw him, as you had placed your head on Kylo’s chest and closed your eyes. Your trust in him was unwarranted, and felt oddly welcome to the commander.

Herron called out to you, and your eyes were open in an instant. You turned and struggled out of Kylo’s hold, jumping down onto a injured leg and running for your father. Herron brushed past a stunned officer and there were at least a dozen other witnesses to your reunion.

Only Kylo seemed to see the long point of crystal in your hand, and only he made the choice to watch as you lunged, diving the kyber into Herron’s chest with a visceral growl and a sickening squelch. Your eyes glowed yellow as Herron fall onto his back gargling on blood from where you had stabbed between his ribs and into his lung. 

A wild look of glee filled your eyes and Kylo’s hand went to his saber, waiting for something from you that would let him join. Heat gathered deep in his belly, clenching as he watched you commit such violence. He hadn't thought you capable, but now...

Herron struggled against you, shoving you off of him but you were quick to recover jumping again to claw at whatever your hands could find and rip him apart.

Kylo saw officers approach and made them halt all with the sound of his light saber igniting, a roar among the wild barking of dogs. You looked over to him, covered in your own blood and your fathers, and glanced down to his weapon. He could see the hesitation in your eyes, wondering if he meant to use it on you. The pause was enough time for Herron to clock you across the face, knocking you away but not quite unconscious.

Kylo strode forward and lifted his saber swinging it down in one strong arc to slice the king’s head clean off. You, from a foot away, watched it roll bloodless from where the saber cauterized it instantly. You were panting and flush, delirious with fever.

Kylo did not immediately put away his saber, instead turning to you. The both of you seemed to assess the other, before your eyes shimmered their normal color and a smile came to your face, weightless and free. You seemed shocked but not uncertain, you had meant to do what you did and you only took thrill in watching Kylo help you do it. 

Kylo moved, steps heavy as he moved down to kneel and pick you back up. As if it were a normal occurrence, you reached up wrapping your arms around his neck and making a low, melodic hum like a purr deep in your chest. Kylo hummed back, softer for only you to hear before lifting you up and making his way back to his ship. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You Kylo be ROCK HARd rn


	7. What you Want

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Smut Ahead

It felt like a dream and waking from it. A delirious and delicious moment where fiction and reality melt together. Ghosting sensations fade away to stagnant air and numbness, but you felt more as consciousness came back to you. That dreamlike stupor that had conjured up rasping, modulated breaths in your ear and the frantic rhythm-less push of hips against yours.

In your dream you had felt the life leave your father like watching an ember of a fire dwindle away, weak and lackluster and simultaneously endlessly satisfaction but missing gratification. You had swam through a dense red fog to cling to the only figure your sense would pick up, grasping with weak fingers to dust covered cloth and feeling the vibration of his saber as if it were pressed to the very core of you.

Whines left your throat unbidden as your eyes struggled to take anything in around you. It was all darkness, a black cloak and a glove that had been twisted and placed between your teeth. noticing it you bit down, testing if it was real and tasting the soot and ash and something bitter and sour. The glove was real, the leather sweet and the man holding you up by your thighs and pressed against something cold and humming was real too.

You were barely dressed, the cold air around you in this dark world icy and still. You could feel the heat of skin against your thigh- his ungloved hand as it gripped to tight, fingertips pressing as if he could tighten and tighten until his fist would close. Your head tipped forward, forehead knocking slightly against his helmet, and it turned to press harder against your neck and shoulder, a low growl rumbling out and spinning down into your tummy.

You were shivering and sweating all at once. The cold air stung at your calves, arms and hands, but the sweltering heat of his chest rubbing against your exposed chest made for a intoxicating contrast. The top of your dress was hanging in tatters around your waist, pushed up to be a threadbare barrier between your sex and the harsh movements of his hips thrusting up to yours.

With disappointment you noticed he was completely clothed save for the hand, whose glove you panted and moaned around. The modulated breaths against your neck were growing more ground out, more growls than pants and growing quicker and quicker together.

You had never been intimate with anyone else, never kissed anyone save for Ashda and your mother on the cheek in a platonic familial way. This....this was instinct. Carnal and all happening within a base part of your mind that didn’t care his mask was still on- that you didn’t know where you were or what had happened between being thrown into the caves and now save for glimpses that could be real or fake for all you knew.

You were chasing, or being chased. Pushed and coaxed to something white-hot and wanting. Was this what you had wanted from the beginning? When you had seen him for the first time, the tall domineering presence of Commander Ren had pulled something foreign and yearning from you. Was this what it was?

You didn’t care, you wouldn’t care. All that your mind could care about right now was that this didn’t stop. A shift in his hold on you, shifting up up and moving your hips in time with his made your jaw open, the glove falling from it as you cried out in ecstasy which only provoked another rumble from your commander.

“Please....” You whined, “Please, please, _please!”_ Your voice was breathless and striking in the dumb silence of the room. Kylo groaned low and lifted his head slightly to look at your face, visor looking down at it- its menacing lifeless gaze only make the growing frame in you hike up.

“Please, what?” The question was on a growl and you answered without thinking.

“Please don’t stop,” You replied as you clung to him and tried to move your hips to push yourself closer. You were so close. So close.

It seemed your plea was enough to startle something in him, as his hip stuttered and a low, guttural noise left him. Hands bruising your hips and hips jerking as if out of his own control. His ungloved hand left your thigh and you jerked to wrap it tight around him, unwilling to let him go so easy. It did not leave for long, as long, deft fingers found their way between you. Circling the damp cloth covering your sex once, pressing his thumb and snarling when you cried out at the touch.

It was too much, too much- and you must have told him so as he pulled your pleasure from you. An apex of something akin to an exploding star, you jerked in his arms, feeling yourself gush against his hand and whimpering like a pitiful thing when all the energy and fervor turned into a trembling downward spiral, all the energy leaving you and going lax in Kylo’s hand.

The two of you took several moments to to simply glow for a few moments before you broke the silence.

“Ow....” You gasped as pain rocketed up your body, overpowered by the pleasure before but now without that it returned with a vengeance.

“You need medical attention.” Kylo’s voice was matter of fact, as if he hadn’t just been trying to jack hammer you into the wall.

“Where....where are we?” You asked, now taking a moment to look at your surroundings. It was all metal and compact, completely foreign.

“I am taking you back to the Finalizer,” Kylo moved you two away from the wall. Carrying you to a nearby cot and sitting you down on it lightly, despite his gentleness you still hissed at the sharp zip of pain.

“I...what about....” Now that you weren’t...gyrating, you had the cognitive ability to become dizzy.

“Stop thinking.” Kylo demanded, and like a switch your mind went quiet, calmer and less frantic in the questions it brought up. Kylo took a moment to make sure you weren’t to move, or explode or something, before he stepped away.

You had been thrown in the caves- you remembered that much. The Iliad had revolted and invaded the palace, taken you and thrown you into the caves to die. Okay, that was a fact and as horrific as it was you could accept it.

What was harder to accept as fact was the singing. It hadn’t taken long in the caves for you to find your way to an untouched part of it. You had woken up from your nap feeling only slightly better, and wanting to find friends. The crystals were your friends, and at the very least you wanted to apologize before you died there. Remembering it now it felt true, but faded slightly as you weren’t exactly in the healthiest mindset then.

When you found the large clusters, you sang them a song to make them glow and petting them to apologize for allowing any harm to come to them. What was shocking was when they sang back. Not in words or even an audible melody, but like a swell of feeling drifting through your heart and mind. From there memory became wistful, infuriatingly slippery as what little you did recall was absurd. The crystals sang to you, their song was sad but vengeful. Like when Kylo had shown you the Force, images and sensations overwhelming you. You recalled a song about a young man, blonde and tenderhearted. The crystals seemed to like him, and they showed you him to you like your mother would show you off to her friends.

There were songs of battles, explosions and blaster-fire that hurt as if it were actually happening to you and not just being shown to you. It made you weep to watch a father fall, down, down and down hand still outreaching towards his son. You laughed alongside visions of men in tan robes sitting on the balcony of a city larger than one you could ever dream.

Were these memories, or fever-dreams? Delirious delusions that your injured and weak mind conjured to get you through the dark abyss that would be your grave?

Kylo was back in front of you while you still pondered around inside your own head. What had been real? And what not? This....this felt real. You looked to Kylo Ren and his mask, reaching to trace the pad of your middle finger along the silver beneath the visor.

“Is this real?” You asked, needing to know but hating the answer. His hand darted out, grabbing at the bare skin of your ribs, blackened with bruises and you all but screamed at the agony of the touch. You tried to jerk away but his hand was already gone.

“Yes.” He replied sternly, and gasping for breath you nodded back to him. The pain was sobering, it was certainly real.

A hiss and whir of machinery and suddenly the two of you were not alone. A off-white droid with smooth contours and shiny cobalt accents entered with a whirring and chirping, conical head tipping in greeting to Kylo and then to you before whirring over to your bedside.

You quickly lifted your hands to cover your chest and shirked away from the lifelike machine. Droids were rare on your planet- medical ones unheard of. It made more chirping noises and then a soft, artificial cooing. “ _Please be advised, your injuries are severe. You will require surgery.”_

From its center, the droid retrieved was looked like a tiny cylinder, three tiny spikes on one side and a tube within carrying a light blue liquid. You made a small noise oh apprehension and slid further away.

“I see your ward is awake, Commander.” This new voice startled you enough to make you inhale too sharply, and your injured ribs let you know that was a mistake.

“ _Please consent to the injection.”_ The droid prompted and you shook you head like a child might as you looked to the door where Trein walked in, followed by a single, shiny, and white trooper.

A black cloak blocked your view of the Lieutenant, Kylo’s hand was place threateningly on the saber on his waist and a low growl of “ _Get out.”_ echoed through the helmet.

“Forgive the intrusion, I only wish to speak with the girl.” Trein was a bastard and seemed to have no desire for self-preservation.

You moved your arms to further curl up and hide yourself. Did no one else notice you were naked and covered in blood?!

“S-surely we c-can speak later...” You mumbled out, still unused to speaking so loudly in such foreign company.

“It concerns the governing of Elysia, and before we depart the surface I thought it prudent to discuss it.” Trein stepped to the side to look at you, Kylo moving a step closer and blocking him again.

“Elysia belongs in the hands of the Iliad.” You said in your whisper tone. Regardless of the hurt they caused you, it had been justified in a way. Your lineage was responsible for far more. “My father was arrogant, and unfit to rule- as his blood....so am I.”

“If you believe so, your highness.” Trein drawled, “The issue remains that the Iliad will not tolerate a trade agreement between the First Order for the Kyber we require.”

You felt heat rise to your cheekbones, tiny pinpricks of fire that you assumed was your markings glowing. “Have you even asked them? Did you think to actually discuss it with them?”

You were so unbearably tired of men assuming things. Sick of men in suits and crowns spitting words they just assumed would be true simply because it left their lips. If arrogance stained like wine, your father, Lieutenant Trein and every loose-lipped diplomat would have berry kissed lips their entire life.

“We require an agreement. The First Order does not have time-”

“Try to take the kyber from Elysia again,” Your voice didn’t feel like your own now. It thundered out of your strong and clear. You stood and stepped to stand just behind Kylo, glaring at Trein with all the intensity you could muster.

Trein’s eyes went wide, a redness blooming on his face and veins popping out from his neck. Wide, wild, and frightened eyes looked from you to Kylo as Trein slowly reached up to touch his neck.

“You want the kyber? You want to take it like you take a cheap whore? And _spit_ when it asks for payment!?” You hissed and watched with a sick glee as Trein coughed, unable to breathe. What was wrong with you? Why were you doing this? _How_ were you doing this?

A hand suddenly hovered between you and Trein, going to place a heavy and comforting weight to the back of your neck. Your concentration was broken. Trein gasped and coughed as air returned to him, and you looked over to Kylo who let his hand guide you back to the cot and sit you down. He gave the back of your neck a quick squeeze before letting go, and when you looked both the lieutenant and the trooper were gone.

The medical droid, unperturbed by the occurrence returned to your side. “ _Please consent to the injection.”_

Feeling a wash of guilt and shame you nodded softly and only slightly grimaced when the injection met your arm.

“You need training.” Kylo’s voice was not angry or disappointed, but there was tension there. You weren’t sure if you wanted to cry or disappear as whatever it was that took hold of you before, provoking such violent and visceral rage faded away. The droid scurried about the cabin, having you stand to undress you fully and handing you a simple red robe. It had started to clean up your face with a warm and wet cloth when you found the courage to speak again.

“I didn’t mean to hurt him.” You said sadly. You didn’t know how you did it, or why you wanted Trein to suffer so much but you didn’t want to hurt him. He didn’t deserve to die, regardless of his actions and words in the moment. Your reaction had been over the top, and frankly, terrifying.

“Yes you did.” Kylo replied, sounding proud? You tilted your head to the side as the droid wiped on your cheekbone and near your eye, the sensitive location uncomfortable to be touched. The commander grabbed the cloth from the droid and held your chin in one hand and the wipe at the dirt and blood on your face with the other. “Do not lie about what you want. You wanted to hurt him, and so you did.”

“But...” You hissed when he rubbed a bit too hard and the pressure quickly let up. “I should...I’ve never been able to do something like that. He didn’t deserve that.”

Kylo paused and squeezed your chin, forcing you to meet his gaze, “What do you want?”

The question hung between you. He had asked you that before, and you still didn’t really know what he meant. In the context it didn’t make sense, but you assumed he was just trying to change the topic.

You let out a soft, uncomfortable laugh and said, “A bath would be nice....”

He jerked you to tilt you until your neck strained and a gasp left you. You whined at the rough treatment and the warmth from before returned, wet and hungry.

“What....do you _want?”_ Kylo demanded low, a growl more than anything.

What did you want?

“I want them to leave the crystals alone. They are alive...in their way.” You said, speaking without letting yourself think for too long on it. “I want the Iliad to have Elysia back. I want my mother back. I want my people to not think I’m a half-breed. I want to go home but I also never want to go back......I want....” You drifted off as Kylo’s thumb drifted across your chin and over your now still lower lip. You licked at them unconsciously, and continued with new fervor. “I want to see you, without your mask. To touch you and know you.....I want....I want to follow you. I don’t know why. I couldn’t say...but....but I want to stay. With you.”

Kylo let your neck relax and returned with a new gentleness, dabbing at the grime on your face. You could feel the blush darkening your cheeks, spreading across your nose.

You felt the rumble of the ship beneath you hum to life, the ring of thrusters and the shift in gravity as you lifted upwards. You glanced around the small cabin, windowless so there was absolutely nothing to see but realizing all the same- you were leaving Elysia.

Kylo brought your attention back to him when his hand left your chin and wound back around your neck, long fingers winding into your hair. “As you wish.”q

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have never written smut before so please let me know if it even makes sense lol

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfiction since I as 14 lol. Its starting off slow but I aim to post pretty frequently. I've had this in mind for so long that I'm excited to share it!


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